


At Last and Too Soon

by TheShyGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Butterfly Castiel, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShyGirl/pseuds/TheShyGirl
Summary: Castiel visits the Earth in the form of a butterfly to find out if humans are really as horrible as Lucifer had told him. With so many people in the world, Castiel chooses to stick with the first person to show him some kindness. An unusual bond forms between himself and Dean, leading Castiel to make a choice - Heaven or Earth?





	At Last and Too Soon

  _Well, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into, Cas_ , he thought to himself as he lay by the stairs. _I should have been a bee. At least then I could sting someone._

   Castiel was starting to really regret his decision to come down to Earth. He couldn’t help his curiosity though. He’d known that a few other angels completely left the protection of Heaven, had their wings removed, just so they could live amongst the humans as one of them. It was such a monumental decision that Castiel just couldn’t understand.

   When Lucifer had still been in Heaven, he’d told Castiel that the humans were a disgusting plague, a pest that their father should wipe off the Earth. The humans were the core of hate. It never really made sense to Castiel why any of their kind would want to leave the sanctity of their home to join the “pests” if that were true.

   After Lucifer was cast out due to his insolence, Castiel eventually took his questions to the one being he knew would have the answers.

   “Father, I have seen the humans, but I don’t understand them. They are smart, creating amazing technology, and social, living in large groups, but Lucifer said they were creatures to be squashed, a nuisance in the universe. Still, Samandriel, Anna, and Gabriel have left home to live a limited life on Earth among them. If they are truly as Lucifer said, why would my sister and brothers leave to join them?”

   God had smiled down at Castiel. “Lucifer was wrong to say what he did. The humans are wondrous beings that often surprise even me. Perhaps you should go down there and see for yourself. It is what your siblings did. Maybe you will see what they did.”

   Shaking his head, Castiel said, “No. I don’t wish to walk among them, but my curiosity is frustrating.”

   “You don’t have to be one of them to see them interact, Castiel. An innocent creature is often a great vessel to view from. You could be a bee or a butterfly or whatever you want. I can send you down there as whatever you desire so you may appease your curiosity. You can come back whenever you are ready or live out the remaining lifespan of the creature.”

   It seemed like such a good idea at the time. All he would have to do was flit amongst the humans and see how they live. He’d find out if they were kind and caring or as hateful as Lucifer had said. At this point though, he was starting to believe that his exiled brother may have been right.

   The butterfly’s wings were not nearly as easy to figure out as his angel wings. He somehow managed to end up in a building. There were people there, but not enough were interacting for him to understand anything. He’d tried to find his way back out, but he quickly grew tired. Eventually, he fell to the ground. From there, it was a struggle to flit his way to the corner at the bottom of the stairs where he now lay. No one had paid attention to him. Many times, his short life as a butterfly was almost ended by a careless human stepping on him as he moved across the floor.

    _Humans have no care for those outside themselves it seems. I wonder if I will ever get out of here to see if this is true for all of them. Maybe I should just return to Heaven and be done with them._ As he lay there contemplating what to do, a human hand suddenly appeared in front of him.

   “Hey there, little guy. Are you lost?”

   Castiel looked beyond the hand to see a man had knelt down next to his spot by the stairs. This was the first time he’d been focused on one face. The humans seemed to constantly be milling about, a sea of faces that he couldn’t comprehend. As he took in the sight of this one man, he was reminded how different each of the humans looked. This one had soft brown hair and bright golden-green eyes. His sharp features could have been intimidating if not offset by his gentle and kind smile. Castiel was mesmerized.

   “Come on.” The man pushed his hand gently against Castiel and he willingly climbed up. “I’ll take you outside.”

    _Okay. You seem interesting...and kind. Maybe I should stick with you._

   The man walked up the stairs and out into the bright light of day.

   Castiel was annoyed that he’d been so close to the exit without knowing it.

   Taking a closer look at the butterfly, Dean was struck by its beautiful appearance. “What kind of butterfly are you?” The wings were a deep black that faded into a brilliant blue. All around the edges were tiny black and white stripes. A few bright red spots dotted the top of each wing. The little thing was barely three inches from wing tip to wing tip. “Aren’t you something. Well, the subway is no place for a cute little butterfly like you. Go on now.” The man wiggled his hand up down to prompt the butterfly to take off.

   It was surprisingly not difficult to stay on the man’s hand with his sticky feet and using his wings for added balance. _No thank you. I would like to stay with you. What do you do with the life you have been given, human?_

   The man looked at the butterfly with a bemused smile. “Huh. Maybe you’re too tired to fly. Well, I guess you can hang with me until you’re ready then.”

    _Yes, thank you. I would appreciate that._ It didn’t matter that the human couldn’t hear him. Castiel was grateful all the same.

   “Here. Can you sit on my shoulder?” He brought his hand up to his shoulder and nudged the butterfly with his free hand.

    _Of course._ He moved onto the man’s shoulder and enjoyed his new perch. There was much more to see though the ride was a bit bumpier when the man walked. He didn’t end up getting to look around much as his attention was drawn to what the man was doing.

   He pulled out his phone and after a few short rings, the screen lit up with the image of a different man.

   “Hey, Dean! What’s up?” the guy said with a smile.

   “Sam, look! I have a pet.” He nodded to his shoulder.

    _Excuse me!_  Castiel thought with warning. _I’m an angel of the Lord, here on a leaning mission. Do not take my desire for assistance as subservience, human._ Realizing he now knew his helper’s name, he added, _Dean._

   “Dude, is that a butterfly? Did it land on you? I hear that’s good luck.”

   “No, actually. He was at the bottom of the stairs to the subway. He seemed lost so I brought him outside. He doesn’t seem to want to leave. I figure he’ll probably fly off after I get on my bike to head to class.”

   The man, Sam, nodded, his shaggy brown hair moving with the motion. “Probably. Guess I’ll find out when I see you there. I’m on my way to pick up Jess now.”

   “Don’t forget my bag!”

   Sam held up a book bag. “Already got it. Maybe next time don’t leave it at my place. See ya.”

   “Later.” The screen went black and the man put his phone back in his pocket. “That was my brother,” he said to the butterfly. “He’s kind of a nerd and we don’t always get along, but he’s still my brother, ya know.”

    _I do know._ Lucifer’s presence in Heaven was nearly erased, but the angels were still kin. He couldn’t just pretend like he never existed like everyone else seemed content to do. _Neither disagreements nor bad behavior severs familial ties. It’s nice that you keep in contact with your brother. I cannot reach mine._

   Dean turned up the steps to an apartment building and went inside. He followed a hallway on the bottom floor to a door marked ‘1009’ and inserted a key. As he swung the door open, he said, “This is home, sweet home. I’d give ya the grand tour, but I really have to get to class.” He grabbed a bike from the living area of his home and then left once more, locking the door behind him.

   Outside, he climbed on the bike and spoke again to the butterfly. “I don’t think you’re gonna be with me much longer. It’s gonna be hard to hold on. So, stay safe, little guy. No more going in the subway.” With that, he began to pedal. He started off slowly to give the little insect time to adjust and take off on his own.

   Castiel found that the wind was definitely hard to fight. _You said I didn’t have to go until I was ready. I am staying here._ It was a struggle, but he eventually made his way down onto Dean’s chest. There he wormed his way between the thin material of a t-shirt and the heavy flannel that was worn over it. In that little pocket, he was safe from the wind.

   Dean simply smiled at the determined actions of the butterfly and sped on to class.

   Once he made it to the area of campus he needed to be at, Dean parked his bike at a rack. As he chained it up, he chatted to the butterfly. “This is a decent part of town, but there’s shitty people everywhere. If I don’t chain up my bike, it won’t be here when we’re done. Then we’d be walking back...or, I would be anyway. I guess you’d be set either way.” With his bike secure, he made his way up the sidewalk. As he approached the door leading into the building his class was in, his steps slowed and he stared at a large white building up the street.

   Glancing down at the butterfly still hidden on his chest, he said, “There’s a museum up there that has a butterfly garden inside. It’s really nice. You’d make lots of butterfly friends. Maybe find a mate. I bet you would like it. If you stay with me, I’ll go by there after class to see if they will take you in.”

   If butterflies could sigh, Castiel would have. _I have no interest in the social structures of butterflies, human. I mean, Dean. I want to see what you do with the people around you._

   Inside the building, Dean sat down at a table where his brother and a blond-haired girl were.

   “Did you lose your new pet already?” Sam joked, seeing Dean’s empty shoulder.

   “Nope.” He peeled back the edge of his red flannel to reveal Castiel’s place below it. “He actually crawled here, I guess to get away from the wind.”

    “Oh my god! So cute!” the blonde exclaimed as she came closer to peer at the little creature. “He’s been with you since you left the subway?”

   “Yep.” Somehow that gave Dean a sense of pride. Most butterflies didn’t care to deal with people at all, let alone to stay with one for so long. “I guess it likes me.” When the girl lightly touched one outstretched black wing, he frowned. “Careful, Jess. Don’t hurt him.”

   She smiled and rolled her eyes. “I barely touched him. Butterfly wings are stronger than you might think.”

   “No reason to take any chances,” he mumbled as he took a seat next to where Sam had set his bag. “Thanks for bringing it.”

   “No problem.”

   As he pulled out a notepad and pencil, a woman at the front of the class began talking and everyone turned their attention forward.

   This was a much better situation for Castiel. No one was moving and he was able to gaze around. Every person looked incredibly different, though none were quite as fascinating as Dean. He wondered if that was because Dean was the first one he truly saw or if he was truly more aesthetically pleasing.

   As time passed, he grew bored in his spot and decided to go down and check out the pencil Dean was holding. He walked down Dean’s sleeve and on to his hand, even as it drug the pencil across the paper to take notes.

   Castiel noticed what he didn’t before. He liked Dean’s hand. It was strong and it had a very interesting taste. Taste was something new to Castiel and an ability to taste with his tiny little feet was not always pleasant. He didn’t mind the taste of Dean at all though. The rest of the class was spent walking around Dean’s hand, clinging to the pencil, or walking around on the notepad or table. It was definitely an interesting little world. _I wonder if this is what it feels like for people, living in a microscopic piece of the universe._

   When the class ended, Dean picked up his notebook and slid it into his bag. He planned on picking up the butterfly after he pulled his backpack on, but he didn’t have to. It flew over to his shirt, stunning both him and his friends.

   “Wow!” Jess said in awe. “It really does like you.”

   “Definitely not the pet I ever thought you would have, Dean,” Sam remarked.

   Dean grinned. “Yeah. I don’t think I should keep it. I’m gonna see if they will take it at the butterfly garden.”

   Jess shook her head. “That’s a very controlled environment, Dean. They’re not going to let an outside animal in. It could have a disease that might spread to the other butterflies.”

   “Well, what do I do then? I don’t know how to care for a butterfly.” He hadn’t ever expected it to be a permanent fixture in his life.

   “Just look it up online when you get home,” Sam suggested. “I’m pretty sure you can mix some sugar-water for it to eat. That might even be just what it needs to get back to being on its own again.”

   “Okay. I’ll give it a shot.”

    _These people all seem invested in saving me. This is not at all what I expected after what Lucifer said, after what I experienced earlier. They are not cruel or hateful._

__

   Back at Dean’s apartment, the man had some dinner and actively searched out everything that Castiel would need to survive as a butterfly. He’d made the suggested sugar-water mixture and watched with fascination as Castiel’s proboscis unfurled to sip up the sweet liquid. “Whoa! That’s how you eat? That’s pretty damn cool.”

   After that, Dean had done some research and figured out that his new friend was a “Red-Spotted Purple Butterfly.” The red-spotted part made sense, but there wasn’t even the slightest bit of purple on the butterflies pictured or on his. “Weird.”

   Once he had that information, Dean decided to go all in. After working his way through his first year of college by doing cam shows online, he’d had a pretty decent savings account. In addition to that, when his parents died in a car crash two years ago, the life insurance money was divided between him and Sam. It allowed him to live modestly, attend school, and have some extra left over without having to do the cam shows anymore. This meant he had the money to get whatever he would need to keep the butterfly alive in case it continued to stick around.

   After ordering the special nectar, he pointed to a cage on the screen. “Look,” he said to the butterfly, “I don’t really feel right putting you in a cage. I’m gonna get this, so you have like a little room here, but I’ll keep the door open. Then you can leave whenever you want. Is that a deal?”

    _Deal._ Castiel fluttered his wings.

   “I’m gonna take that as a yes.” Once everything was ordered, all set to arrive the next day, Dean stretched and yawned. “Do butterflies sleep? I don’t know, but I need to get to sleep. Got things to do tomorrow. Come on. I have a fake plant you can hang out on until tomorrow.”

    _The lack of eyelids makes attempting sleep a useless endeavor, but I do suppose I could rest._ Castiel allowed himself to be carried from the desk to the small fake tree that Dean had in the corner of his bedroom.

   “It was a gift from Sam. He thought my apartment needed some greenery, but knew I’d probably end up killing a real plant, so this is what I have.”

   From his new perch, Castiel was able to watch Dean go into the bathroom and complete some nighttime grooming rituals. Afterwards, the man returned to the room and pulled off his flannel and t-shirt, tossing them aside. His pants were the next to follow. It was an interesting routine to Castiel. Seemed pointless to put on a bunch of clothes, just to take them all back off every night, but it wasn’t something angels really worried about, so what did he know?

   In his boxers, Dean climbed under the covers of his bed. “Goodnight, little guy.” Before he could even reach over to turn off his bedside lamp, the butterfly left the tree to land on the pillow next to his. Sitting back up, he said, “No. That won’t work. I don’t want to accidentally squish you.” He scooped up the butterfly and deposited him back on the tree. He hadn’t even managed to lay down again before the black and blue butterfly was once again on the extra pillow.

    _I like this far better than the pretend plant, Dean. I will stay here._

   Dean sighed. “Fine, but if I roll over and squish you, you have only yourself to blame.”

 

   When Dean awoke the next day, he saw the butterfly still on the pillow and smiled. “Glad I didn’t kill you in my sleep. How about breakfast?” Normally, he’d probably lay in bed for a bit longer, but he was excited about having something other than himself to care for. He’d always kind of liked getting to take care of others, but once Sam got older, he never really had the opportunity.

   In the kitchen, Dean provided the same mixture as the day before. Setting the bottle cap with the sugar water and the butterfly both on the table, he watched closely. Seeing the butterfly’s tongue like appendage uncurl was still just as interesting to watch. While it ate, he pulled up Pandora on his phone and started the classic rock station.

   Castiel drank up the sweet treat until he was done and then proceeded to watch Dean dance as he cooked up bacon and eggs. It was rather entertaining and Castiel enjoyed the amused feeling it produced within him.

   Once his food was done, Dean turned off the music and sat down at the table. He took a few bites as he looked consideringly at the butterfly. “I know I bought all that stuff for you, but you don’t really want to live here, right? I mean, the apartment is okay, but there’s a whole world out there. Flowers to drink from and pollinate. Potential mates. Gotta keep the population going, ya know.”

    _I understand your thinking and perhaps the average butterfly would find that a likable existence. I would rather stay and see what you do. You make it seem like perhaps humans are better than I previously thought._

   Continuing, Dean said, “So, today, I’m going to the gym. If I walk there, I can cross through the park on the way. There’s lots of flowers and stuff there. So, maybe you’ll want to leave when you see it and, if you do, that’s okay. I can send the stuff back. If you want to keep hanging out with me though, I think it would be awesome. Gets lonely sometimes and I don’t really want a dog,” he joked.

    _I don’t know how much of a companion I can be, but I will gladly stay with you. If it offers you some comfort, then all the better._

   After he had his breakfast, Dean changed and stuffed some gym clothes in a duffel bag. “Alright, butterfly,” he said, scooping it into his hand and letting it crawl onto the front of his shirt. “Let’s go.”

   Outside, Dean headed down the sidewalk for a ways and then crossed the street to enter a park. He followed the path along the center of the park before veering off onto a secondary path that he knew led to the gardens.

   Castiel had to admit that this area was a much nicer place than where he had originally ended up. Had he ended up here instead, he probably would have been content to just sit and watch people. _I wonder if perhaps I should. Perhaps I shouldn’t be limiting myself to Dean._

   An ivy-covered archway signaled the entrance to the gardens. Dean walked in and began strolling down one of the gravel paths. Plants of all types were planted on both sides of the path. The greens were bright and the flowers vivid in their colors. It was truly a beautiful place. Just like Dean had said, other butterflies were there, flitting between the flowers.

   Looking down at the butterfly on his chest, he said, “What do you think? Would you rather call this home?”

   Before Castiel could even form a response, a soft voice said, “Found a friend, did ya?”

   Dean looked up to see a familiar face. With her long dark hair and perfectly curved body, Lisa was someone he’d been admiring ever since he started at the new gym. The fact that he had ever taken a yoga class was solely to have a reason to meet her since she was the instructor. There had been some light flirting, but after a couple classes and it not going anywhere, Dean didn’t care enough to keep trying.

   “Hey, Lisa. Yeah, he likes me.” It was the only thing he could say since he couldn’t find any other reason for the butterfly to be so attached to him.

   “Well, he has good taste,” she purred as she stepped closer.

   Dean smiled and shifted his bag further onto his shoulder. “Yeah? You think so?”

   Castiel regarded the exchange with interest. Aside from the people in the classroom, he hadn’t really had a chance to see Dean interact with many others. This was a woman he apparently knew and she seemed nice enough.

   “I know so. I’ve seen that body of yours stretching. You’re more flexible than you look.” She gave him a wink.

   Chuckling, he said, “It comes in handy at times. Kinda surprised you noticed. Didn’t think you were interested.”

   Lisa shrugged with an innocent expression. “I had things I was dealing with at the time. I’ve been hoping you would show up in class again. Maybe you should give it another try.”

   It was clear to him that she didn’t really mean the class was what he should try. In the time that had passed though, his infatuation with her had dimmed. She was definitely still attractive, but he just wasn’t feeling it. As much as he would like the opportunity to get laid, he got the feeling that she wouldn’t be a good one-night stand. Then he’d have to find a new gym and he really didn’t want to do that. This one was so much closer than the others.

   “I’ll keep it in mind. Heading to the gym now, so I better get going.”

   When he started to turn to walk away, she reached out. “Oh, here! Let me get that.” She brushed against Dean’s shirt, pushing the butterfly off him.

   Having not expected it, Castiel spun as he flapped his wings, trying to right himself.

   “What the hell did you do that for?” Dean snapped as he followed Castiel’s erratic flight with his eyes.

   Lisa raised up her hands. “It’s a butterfly. I assumed it lives here.” When he followed the butterfly instead of paying her any more attention, she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Men,” she muttered as she left the garden.

   Once his body was under control again, Castiel looked around frantically for Dean. Thankfully, the man had followed his crazy flight pattern and was nearby. As quickly as his wings would allow, he flew back, returning to his spot on Dean’s chest. _Why did that woman do that?_ he demanded angrily. _I did nothing to her to warrant that treatment. I thought she was going to be kind._ After that, he was surer than ever that he would be safest by staying in Dean’s company.

   Dean smiled in relief when the butterfly returned to him. Even though he’d brought the butterfly to the garden and had steeled himself for the fact it might leave, he was not ready to have him be gone so abruptly. “Sorry, little buddy,” Dean said, softly stroking a finger across one outstretched wing. “I don’t think she meant anything by it.” He was still angry with her for brushing the butterfly away, but he knew most people wouldn’t expect a butterfly to be willingly staying with a person. It wasn’t an attack. “Thanks for coming back to me.” Making his way out of the garden, he said, “Definitely need to work off some steam now. Let’s go see what we can get done.”

   The people at the gym were a lot nicer about Castiel accompanying Dean. No one pushed him away or poked at him. Some even took pictures and videos as he walked over Dean while the man used some of the weight machines. They all seemed fascinated by his relationship with Dean. It made him rather happy that just his existence with one man was so causing so much interest. The fact that it made Dean happy certainly helped. He appeared to enjoy showing off the butterfly.

   The walk back home was less eventful. Dean didn’t even bother taking the detour through the garden. He saw no reason to tempt fate twice. The butterfly chose him and that was good enough.

   Back at the house, Dean set Castiel on the fake tree again. “Hang out here while I shower, okay? I don’t think you’d want to get hit with the scalding water I’m gonna use.” Hoping it would stay where he said, Dean began to strip out of his clothes, removing even his briefs and tossing them into a hamper of his dirty laundry.

   This was the first time Castiel had seen Dean fully naked. Nude humans were nothing extraordinary, but Castiel found himself appreciating the view. As far as humans go, Dean was one of the most beautiful he’d ever seen. He was a sea of firm flesh, toned by his workouts, but without any harsh lines. _I wonder what it would feel like to touch you._ Realizing his thought, he quickly amended it. _A human, I mean. Not you specifically._ When Dean turned to head into the bathroom, Castiel’s gaze fell open the soft slopes of Dean’s rear. _Well, maybe you specifically._

   Shortly after lunch, there was a knock at Dean’s door. The items he’d ordered for the butterfly had arrived. He spent the next while setting up the live plants inside the cage and finding the perfect spot for it. Dean decided that it would be best on the dresser in his bedroom as sunlight would land on it in the morning and afternoon.

   Castiel was pleasantly surprised by how nice and cozy the little habitat was. When Dean held him towards one of the plants, he crawled from his hand down onto the leaf and began to walk around, checking out the new area. _Dean, this is wonderful._

   “Guess there’s not a lot of room to fly in there, but that’s okay. Like I said, I’m not gonna close the door, so you can always come out and fly when you want to.” He watched the butterfly move from one plant to the other and smiled. “So, you like it alright?”

    _Yes. This was very kind of you to provide such a butterfly-friendly space for me. Thank you very much._

   “I’ll hang out in here so you can spend some more time getting used to it. I’ll be right back.” Dean left the room, but returned shortly after with his book bag. While Castiel checked out every inch of his new spot, Dean sat on his bed, working on a writing project for school.

   After a while, Castiel left the enclosure to join Dean on his bed. He walked all over Dean as he had his cage, enjoying the different textures and the smooth sound of the pencil moving over the paper. It was a nice night for him as he flitted back and forth between Dean and the new enclosure. He was perfectly content.

   Dean was only slightly surprised when he laid down to sleep that night and the butterfly once again took the spot on the extra pillow. “Bed still better than your home?” he asked through a yawn.

    _For now, this is my home. That is simply a space within it. I hope you don’t mind._

   Unable to hear any answer, Dean simply smiled and said, “Goodnight, butterfly.”

    _Goodnight, Dean._

 

   The next day, Dean seemed distracted as they went through the day. He provided Castiel with the nectar and made himself food, but there was none of the singing and dancing of the previous morning. Castiel longed to ask him what was different, but lacked the ability. Whatever had changed Dean’s demeanor was something he wasn’t saying out loud.

   Even when he had put on a movie for the two of them to watch, Dean continued to shift around in his seat. It was past midday when Dean finally pulled out his phone and began typing a message. “I wonder if one of my ‘friends’ is available tonight.”

   The way Dean had said ‘friends’ made Castiel think they weren’t actually friends, but he didn’t know any other use of the term. It turned out not to matter.

   After checking in with at least three people, Dean gave up trying anyone else. With a frustrated growl, he tossed his phone aside. He spent the rest of the day seeming antsy until night finally came.

   That evening, Dean pulled on a pair of form-fitting jeans and a black button-up. When he’d finished his grooming, he stopped in front of Castiel’s cage. “Look. I know I’ve been taking you everywhere with me, but where I’m going tonight, you can’t go.”

_But I like seeing the people._

   “There’s just too big a chance that you would get hurt. I wouldn’t even go if I wasn’t dying to get some, ya know.”

    _Get some what?_

   “I’ll be back in a few hours. Don’t wait up,” he joked before walking out the bedroom door.

   Annoyed, but with nothing else to do, Castiel just settled down to wait for Dean’s return.

   When the front door banged open a few hours later, it startled Castiel from his resting state. He fluttered his wings happily since Dean was finally home. He quickly realized from the sounds that Dean was not alone. The stench that hit his senses next was one that sent him bristling. Even worse, he knew Dean wouldn’t know what he now did.

   Dean and a strange man came stumbling into the room, mouths locked together and hands all over each other.

   The man stopped short as soon as he entered the room, eyes going wide as looked around in panic. He obviously sensed Castiel, too. His eyes finally landed on the cage, looking confused.

   “Come on,” Dean said, kissing the man’s neck and trying to pull him towards the bed.

   Pushing away from Dean, he moved warily towards the cage. “What do you have in there?” he asked.

   Dean threw himself down on the bed and began rubbing his erection through the denim, hoping to entice the man to join him. “A butterfly. Don’t worry. He’s fine.”

   Ignoring the display on the bed, the man peered in and saw Castiel. He chuckled. _Well, well, little angel. What are you doing here?_

   Hearing the voice as he did his own, Cas responded. _Leave, demon! There is nothing for you here._

   Glancing back as Dean pulled his shirt over his head, he grinned evilly. _Oh, I disagree._

    _Keep your filthy claws off him!_

    _What are you going to do stuck in that tiny body? How about I possess him and use his body to squish you? Wouldn’t that be fun?_

As long as the demon could hear him, Castiel still had one option. _Exorcizamus te, omnis imm-_ He had to scramble for safety as the man’s hand shot into the cage to grab him.

   “Hey! What the hell?” Dean jumped up from the bed and jerked the guy back from the cage. “What the hell is your problem?”

   “Kill it!” the man hissed.

   “Fuck you! Get out!” Dean yelled, pointing towards the door.

    _Exorcizamus te…_ Castiel did not have to go any further. The man turned with a snarl and ran for the door, making his escape before Castiel could send him back to hell.

   Dean followed, making sure to close and lock the apartment door when the man ran off. He then immediately returned to check on his butterfly. “Are you okay?” He looked over him for any signs of harm, but he seemed intact. “Geez, I’m so sorry. Who knew that there were people in the world who hated butterflies? Fuckin’ jackass.”

   Content his little friend was okay, he stood back up and focused on another problem. He was still horny. “Fuck. I was really hoping to get laid tonight. Guess I’m on my own. Hope you don’t mind, but I have to take care of this.”

   Turning back towards the bed, Dean rubbed a hand over the slowly shrinking bulge in his pants and it was instantly brought back to life. He wasted no time after that. His remaining clothes were removed and tossed aside as he got himself settled on the bed. He turned on his television and flipped to the adult channels he had opted for. Settling for just a basic gay sex scene, he sat the remote aside and wrapped a hand around his hard cock.

    _This is new. Oh! I think I know about this. Masturbation. That’s...interesting._ Castiel could feel some kind of primal response, but it was a completely foreign experience that he couldn’t place. _I should get closer. I want to see this._ He flitted over and landed on Dean’s belly.

   “Whoa! Hey! Sorry, buddy, but I do not need your help with this. I got it handled.” Dean scooped the butterfly up and deposited it on the pillow that it usually sat on when he slept. He returned his attention to the television and began to lightly stroke himself, getting himself truly worked up.

    _I’m just curious_ , Castiel complained to himself.

   As action on the screen picked up, Dean reached into the back of his nightstand drawer, pulling out a flesh-colored, ten-inch dildo. It had been too long and he had fully intended to get bent over and pounded into the mattress by his date. His trusty toy would have to do instead. Setting it aside, he pulled out the lube and quickly slicked up a pair of fingers.

   Dean was in no mood to mess around tonight. He’d been so close to getting what he wanted with the guy he picked up at the club. Had the man not been a butterfly-hating psycho, Dean figured he’d be halfway to an orgasm already. He desperately wanted to feel something inside him and now.

   He reached down between his legs and smeared the lube around his hole before pressing one finger in. It felt good, but wasn’t enough. He wasted no time getting the second finger inside himself. The feeling pulled a low moan from him. He began to pump his fingers in and out of his ass while his free hand pulled gently on his dick. Soft whines and moans filled the room as Dean pleasured himself.

    _Seems to be very enjoyable. If so, it would make sense why so many humans spend time doing this. I wish I knew what it feels like._ For the first time, the possibility of giving up his wings all together came to mind. _I wish I knew why the others left. Was it to experience this? Was it worth it? If I became a human, could I find Dean? Would he teach me?_ Almost without thought, he left the pillow and landed squarely on the head of Dean’s cock. The taste on his feet was far stronger than from Dean’s hand and somehow more enjoyable.

   Dean’s head jerked up to see the blue and black wings of his butterfly friend balancing on the tip of his dick. The little legs caused a ghost-light tickling that was not unpleasant. He was sure that getting off with a butterfly on your dick had to be breaking some sort of law and was just weird anyway. “Dude!” He slid his hand back up his cock, prompting the butterfly to step onto his finger. He left his bed to return the butterfly to the cage on his dresser and maneuvered his hand to force him onto a leaf. “I said I wouldn’t shut this door. Don’t make me have to. I need to get off before I fucking explode.”

    _I don’t think I was stopping you._

   Back on his bed, Dean figured he better hurry it up before the butterfly decided to land on him once more. Foregoing his fingers, he grabbed up his toy and dribbled the lube over it. Even with the little prep he did, sliding the toy in wasn’t a problem. “Fuck, yeah. That’s what I needed,” he moaned. It felt good to be so filled up in this way, pain and pleasure swirling together.

   He began thrusting the fake cock into him, building up a nice pace, as his slicked up hand started to slide up and down on his erection. The dual pleasure was always the quickest way to get himself off. He let his mind drift to a fantasy of some nameless, faceless individual fucking him the way he wanted to be, long, pounding strokes that pushed the breath from him every time. The need to orgasm grew within him, pleasure coiling tighter by the second. He kept on, losing himself to the wonderful feelings. He was so close that whimpers began to escape his lips as he shoved the dildo harder into his hole.

   Castiel grew confused. _That doesn’t sound good. Is it painful? I didn’t think sexual acts were supposed to be painful. Dean, are you okay?_ He knew that Dean wanted him to stay in his enclosure, but he became worried. Not that there was anything he could do as a butterfly. Concern took over though and he returned to land on the hand Dean had wrapped around the phallic object. _Stop!_

   Feeling the small tickle on his hand that signaled the butterfly had returned was a minor annoyance in the impending orgasm. Dean wasn’t going to stop now. He needed the release. He was so close, but just couldn’t quite get there. It was maddening, leaving him whining with need.  

   In such a small state, Castiel had no way to save Dean from himself. He could barely hang on to Dean’s hand due to him pistoning the large object in and out of his body. Needing to distract him, Cas left the unstable perch of his hand to land on his cheek. _Dean! Stop!_ He crawled over Dean’s face, willing him to understand. When he stepped onto Dean’s pink lips, the man blew a puff of air, forcing him away. Moving to Dean’s chest, Castiel began to panic, fluttering around in circles, trying to save the man that saved him.

   Dean’s breath caught in his throat. The feather-light flicks of the butterfly’s wings against his sensitive nipples sent him over the edge. No sound came from his gaping mouth as his body seized up, cum pulsing from his cock up over his stomach. At last, air seemed to return to him, loud moans and grunts pouring forth as his orgasm continued to send happy little electric shocks through him.

   Castiel was for sure that Dean had died until he saw the mess Dean had left on his stomach and felt his body beginning to calm. _Oh. You ejaculated. Are you okay now? Was that all it was? Is it always like that?_ He was no longer sure that sexual pleasure was something he wanted to experience after all. It seemed like a terrifying experience.

   Since Dean seemed completely out of it and in no hurry to move, Castiel took the chance to explore. He walked carefully down the man’s stomach, trying not to tickle overly much. He stopped in front of one of the small white pools on Dean’s belly and found his curiosity overwhelming. He placed his front feet in the slightly sticky liquid to check its taste. It seemed rather bland, but nothing could have stopped his proboscis from lowering to sip at this new fluid. _Interesting._

   Breath returning, Dean raised his head and looked down at his stomach to see the butterfly there, seemingly drinking up his cum. On one hand, he didn’t think that could possibly be healthy for it. On the other, that little creature was the reason he came and something about it now tasting the result of its actions was...erotic?

   Dean quickly sat up, feeling a little guilty. He didn’t say anything as he grabbed his shirt from the floor to clean his hands. Once done, he took the butterfly that was still clinging to his stomach and set him back in the cage. Without another word, he went into the bathroom and closed the door. He needed to really consider what had just happened and decide on the appropriate amount of self-loathing.

   Meanwhile, a surprisingly content Castiel waited patiently in his enclosure for Dean to come back out.

 

   When Dean finally emerged from the bathroom, he was wearing a towel around his waist, clean from his shower. He sat down at the end of his bed, directly across from the home he made for Castiel. He stared at the little butterfly as if trying to see more than there was.

    _What?_

   “What are you?” Dean finally asked. Then his head dropped and he sighed. “I’m losing it,” he mumbled to himself.

    _You couldn’t possibly know. Could you?_

   Looking back up, he said, “Well, thanks, I guess. I don’t know if that’s what you meant to do or not, but you definitely got me off, as weird as that is to say to a butterfly, and it felt fucking amazing.”

   If Castiel would have been capable of smiling, he would have. _I helped you reach pleasure?_ He fluttered his wings, happy with pride.

   Dean chuckled at the little display. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.” He took his toy to the bathroom for later cleaning and then turned off all the lights. He settled down in bed and was not surprised when the butterfly took its usual spot on the extra pillow. He stared at the little bug illuminated in the darkness by moonlight streaming in. It seemed to be looking back at him. “I may be losing my mind,” he whispered, “but I think you’re special. At least, you’re special to me.”

   Such simple words touched Castiel. He felt an inner warmth, something beyond his earthly body, filling his soul. _Thank you, Dean. You are very special to me, as well._

  

   In the following days, a nice routine developed for Dean and Castiel. Every morning, Dean would serve some of the special nectar to Castiel and then cook his own food. He’d chat to the butterfly about various things. He’d tell him about the plans for the day, about a text he got from his brother.

   The morning he talked about his parents seemed really hard for Dean. Castiel learned that he’d lost both his parents at the same time in a car accident a couple years ago. For a long time, he didn’t let himself grieve, feeling he needed to be strong for Sam. Unable to keep such feelings bottled up, he’d eventually punched the mirror and ended up needing stitches. That was the point when he had finally started to deal with his own feelings. He showed the butterfly the tiny scars on his hand from his assault on the glass.

   It gave Castiel a deeper appreciation for Dean. He was capable of admitting to faults and committed to finding ways to better himself. If most humans were more like Dean than not, then the species as a whole was worth saving.   

   After breakfast, Castiel would ride on Dean while he went for a walk. They’d often go through the park and go by the flowers. While he saw other butterflies dancing between the brightly colored petals, the flowers still held no interest for Castiel.

   Dean didn’t want the butterfly to leave, but he also allowed him every opportunity to do so. Every time they walked through the park and it didn’t leave his shoulder made Dean happier than he would have expected. He’d never expected to grow so attached to such a little creature.

   There was another trip to the classroom and one more to the gym. Other than those days, the rest of their time was spent in Dean’s apartment. Most nights Dean would put on movies that he considered ‘necessary classics.’ Usually, he would chat to Castiel through the movie, sharing little factoids, or explaining parts he especially enjoyed.

   Then there were the other times, the times Castiel enjoyed best. Dean would lay down on the couch or in bed and have Castiel on his hand. He’d move one hand in front of the other repeatedly, watching the butterfly walk across each hand. Castiel enjoyed this the most because he was able to stare at Dean’s face. Even after getting to see more humans, the sight of Dean was the one he enjoyed most of all. He was truly beautiful.

   For the most part, Dean would smile as he watched Castiel walk over his hands. At least, that’s how it went at first. Eventually, Dean’s hands would slow and the smile would fade to an expression Castiel couldn’t place. Twice during these sweet times, Dean had lifted Castiel to his lips, gently pressing them against the butterfly.

   Castiel enjoyed putting his feet on Dean’s lips, getting a sense of what a kiss might taste like. He found himself wishing more and more for a human body so that he could kiss Dean back, so he could take him in his arms and hold him tight.

   Thursday had been a fun-filled day. Once they’d returned from their walk, he’d spent most of the afternoon chasing Dean in a game of tag. Dean never questioned Castiel’s understanding. He seemed to accept that he was a butterfly unlike any to have ever existed. It was true enough.

   That evening, they had sat down to watch _Fight Club_ . Sitting on the back of the couch, Castiel began to feel tired. He’d felt that way before, such as when Dean had found him by the stairs, but it seemed heavier. _I have done a lot of flying today. Perhaps I have just worn myself out._ While that was his hope, he had a feeling that it was a lot more than that. It felt like his energy was being sucked out of him at an alarming rate.

   Immediately, he wanted to be closer to Dean, but the power to move his wings no longer seemed to be there. He tried taking steps, but even holding his wings for balance seemed to take more strength than he had. He managed to move closer, but as the couch curved down, he couldn’t hang on and went tumbling into Dean’s lap.

   Dean looked down in surprise. “Whoa. You okay?” He scooped up the butterfly and held it up to eye level. “That’s not really like you to fall.”

   Castiel managed to move his wings slowly as he again looked at the beautiful face of the man who had saved him. _I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to._

   Growing more concerned at the lethargic actions, Dean quickly stood up and rushed to his computer. “This is definitely not good. Hold on, little guy.” He sat the butterfly gently on his leg and then went to Google. Nothing he found was of any help. He even found a butterfly specialist to call.

   The man had told him that it was odd for the butterfly to stick around at all and perhaps could have been sick. Since they didn’t live for long anyway, it was more than likely that the butterfly was just reaching the end of its lifespan.

   Dean felt totally defeated after that call. He picked the butterfly up in both hands and held him up. “Please don’t die,” he whispered. “I know that maybe that’s selfish to say, but please don’t. You have made my life so much better. I like having someone to do things with. I like just having you here. You are so much more than a butterfly to me and I know that sounds dumb, but you’re different. You can understand me. I know you can. You know what I’m saying and you react and I’m just beginning to think I can understand what you want. So, please don’t die. Not when I’m just starting to feel like this is something even better than it seems.” He set his elbows on his desk and pressed the edge of his cupped hands to his forehead.

    _Oh, Dean. I don’t want to leave you yet. If I could stay here with you forever, I would._ It was only after saying it, that Castiel knew for sure that he was going to return to Earth. He wouldn’t be able to be a butterfly, but he could give up his home in Heaven and return as a human. He would come back to Dean. _I wish I could comfort you and tell you I will be with you again._

   Dean lowered the hands to look once more at the butterfly who was no longer standing, but laying in his palms. “Please, butterfly. I need you.” He sniffled and fought back his tears.

   Castiel marveled at how Dean’s eyes had become a lighter shade of green and glittered with unshed tears. Even in sorrow, he was beautiful. It upset him to know that his final moments were causing Dean such distress. He wanted so badly to wrap him up in his angelic wings and hold him, to take away the sadness.

   “I don’t know what you are, but I know you are special, okay? I know it.” He couldn’t hold the tears back anymore and they began to cascade down his cheeks. He stood from the desk chair and went to his bedroom to lay back on the bed, propped up by the pillow. He set the fading butterfly on his chest, making sure it was turned to face him. He began to gently stroke along the silky wings with a single finger.

   Castiel enjoyed the feeling and became more relaxed. Things were starting to fade quicker than he was ready for. He tried to hold onto the moment, but darkness came, leaving the reassuring thud of Dean’s heartbeat echoing inside him as he was pulled back to Heaven.

 

   “Welcome back, Castiel,” God spoke. “Was your curiosity about the human race appeased?”

   Castiel felt as if was soul were being torn in two. Half was with him now and the other half was held by Dean whom he’d left crying on Earth. “I need to go back. Immediately. Please.”

   “Already? Being a butterfly was that exciting for you?” God smiled warmly. This was not a situation that he was unfamiliar with. Humans were not the only ones capable and deserving of happiness. While many angels found that happiness in serving Heaven, a few found theirs on Earth.

   “There’s a man, a good man. He’s kind and caring and beautiful. He’s sad now and I don’t want him to be. He doesn’t even know how wonderful he is, what a good human he is. I want to tell him how grateful I am for his treatment of a simple butterfly. I want him to know that I am thankful for being shown that humans do have compassion. I need to tell him that he is special. I have to. I would give anything for him to know that.”

   “Anything?”

   Castiel knew what the question was. For a human, to say “anything” was merely hypothetical. For an angel, it meant… “Everything.”

   God nodded as he considered the angel’s request. “You have to understand, Castiel, that this is a permanent decision that cannot be undone. If you leave Heaven, you will not be able to return until your death on Earth. You will not have any special abilities beyond an echo of what you have now. We will not be able to communicate as we are now. You will be completely cut off from the grace of Heaven.”

   “I know. I don’t want to, but I need to. I have to get back to Dean.”

   “Have you considered what you will do if this Dean does not care for you as a human as he did for you as a butterfly?”

   That was not something he had considered. He just assumed that Dean would know who he was upon seeing him, but humans did not always have the special perception needed for that. That question gave Castiel pause. If he returned to Earth, became a human, and Dean refused him, what would he do? Where would he go? He’d be stuck in a world that was still new to him, stumbling through a day-to-day existence that he did not understand, succumbing to human wants and needs.

   In Heaven, those worries would be non-existent. If he really wanted to, he could watch over Dean from on high. That possibility did not sit well with him though. He could still feel the pull from Earth, from Dean’s soul crying out for his. It was a call he needed to answer, no matter the consequences.

   “If that were the case, then it would be my burden to accept. I have to try.”

   “Okay. I need you to understand one last thing. You will be giving up your wings. I will not lie to you, Castiel. The process will not be pleasant. You will experience pain.”

   “I’m experiencing pain now!” he cried. “Please! I need to go back.”

   “As you wish. It’s a new day, but I think you will find what you’re looking for in the garden.” God smiled and bowed his head.

   Castiel smiled in return, but it vanished instantly as he felt searing pain down his back. He screamed as his wings were ripped from his body. The pain was so intense that Castiel’s entire world went black and he fell into nothingness, drifting away from consciousness and away from his heavenly home.

   With a violent jerk and a muffled scream, Castiel startled awake. Looking around in panic, he realized he was once again on Earth. Everything looked different through these new eyes. It was disconcerting as he tried to make sense of the new sensations. There was soft, cool grass beneath him, the bark of a tree pressing into his back. Glancing down, he saw he was wearing humans’ clothing. _I really am a human now._ Sounds reached his ears and he looked beyond his immediate surroundings to see people wearing bags going into a building. Castiel remembered this place. This was the place where Dean had gone to his classes.

   Pushing himself up was a bit of a struggle as he worked to understand how to operate the new body God had created for him. His first attempt ended with him falling as he had somehow managed to step on the long coat he was wearing. Annoyed, he made sure it was out of the way and his next attempt was successful. He smiled, pleased at his new ability to stand.

   Walking turned out to be easier and he began to head for the building, thinking perhaps Dean was there in class. He didn’t really know what time of day it was.

   “First day on Earth and you’re not even gonna say hi?”

   Castiel whipped around at the sound of the voice and then smiled brightly. He didn’t recognize the face, but he knew instantly who it was. As he said, nothing severed familial ties. “Gabriel!”

   “Live and in the flesh,” he said with a little bow.

   “What are you doing here?”

   “A little birdie told me to check on you,” he quipped.

   “A bird? They speak?”

   Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Never mind. We may be cut off from Heaven, but that doesn’t mean we might not get the occasional push in the right direction. I have to say, Castiel, I am surprised to see you down here. I thought Lucifer had turned you against the humans for good.”

   Castiel shook his head. “I was never turned against them. I just didn’t understand the warring things I was being told. I came down here to see for myself. I met a man.”

   “Left heaven for a human, huh?”

   “Isn’t that why you left?”

   Gabriel looked down at the ground with a sad frown. “Yeah, well, I’m kind of a lot to take.” He pushed the sadness aside, bringing back his jovial self. “But I’m here to help you acclimate.” He approached Castiel and reached around him, taking the wallet from his back pocket. “This is your wallet. Dad is kind enough to set us up with enough to make it for a while. Then we have to become useful members of society.”

   Opening the wallet, he showed Castiel the driver’s license. “This is you. Castiel Novak. I’m Gabriel Novak so I guess we get to be brothers on Earth, too.”

   Castiel was staring at the photo. “That’s what I look like now?”

   “Yep, that’s you, handsome. The address listed here is my place, so I guess you’re going to be staying with me for a while.” He looked into the bills section and flipped through the money. “Yeah, you’re gonna be set for a while. We should get you a bank account open, so you’re not walking around with this. Some humans are little shits that will try to take this.”

   “Why?”

   “Because everything has a price, Cassie.” He handed the wallet back. “Want me to show you to your new home?”

   Castiel shook his head as he put the wallet back into the pocket Gabriel had pulled it from. “No. I need to find Dean. I know he goes to school here.”

   “Do you have his last name?”

   Thinking for a moment, he came up blank. “No.”

   “So busy making out with the guy you never got his last name?”

   Castiel frowned. “We didn’t ‘make out.’ I was a butterfly when I was here.”

   Raising a brow, Gabriel asked, “Really? A butterfly?”

   “Yes. Why?”

   “So, what are you going to say when you see him? ‘Hi, it’s me! I’m the butterfly you met.’”

   “Yes. Exactly. He needs to know it’s me and that I’m okay. He was very upset when I died.” He turned and started to briskly walk towards the building.

   Gabriel ran after him and grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. “You don’t want to do that. Trust me. Just act like you’re meeting him for the first time. Bump into him and mention something you know about him. Get him talking that way. If you tell him the truth, at least at first, he’ll think you’re crazy. I know because that’s what happened to me.”

   “The human you came here for didn’t want you?”

   Gabriel shook his head. “No. She didn’t. She thought I was some crazy man here to mock her pain. It was a dumb move on my part. Now, I’m just a regular old bachelor, living the high life, I guess. I’m gonna make sure you don’t make the same mistakes I did though. You can’t bust into his classroom and proclaim you’re his reincarnated butterfly friend. What’s something he likes? Where’s some other place he might go?”

   Castiel thought back to his time with Dean. “I was mostly at his house. I don’t think I could find it though. I know he likes his school and working out and eating. He also likes masturbation.”

   “Yeah, we all do and you will, too.”

   Remembering his concern for Dean, he said, “I’m not sure about that. Also, I don’t know if he likes all butterflies or just me.”

   Gabriel sighed. “Yeah, that’s all pretty vague.” Looking around, he stopped and pointed up the street. “If he likes butterflies other than you, the museum has a butterfly garden.”

   Castiel’s eyes lit up. “The garden! Before I left, father said that I would find what I was looking for in the garden.”

   “That was nice. He let me stumble around on my own until I finally found Kali. Oh, well. Let’s go.”

   On the walk there, Gabriel tried to describe some of the basic human interactions and social cues, explaining what things he needed to know. After buying the tickets for the museum, he led Castiel towards the side of the lobby.

   “The main thing is remembering your last name, Novak, and your address. If he asks for your phone number, tell him your phone got stolen, but you’re getting a new one this evening and ask for his number. Got it?”

   “Yes. I think I do.” Castiel looked around. “I know he’s here. I do. I can feel it.”

   Gabriel patted him on the back. “Then go get him, cowboy. The butterfly garden is that way. I’ll wait here just in case, but if I see you leaving with the guy, then I’ll meet you back at the house. It’s not far from here. Ask Dean to call you a taxi to take you back.”

   “Okay.” Looking at his brother, he said with all sincerity, “Thank you, Gabriel. I am glad you were told to come check on me.”

   “Yeah, yeah. Go on,” he replied, giving Castiel a gentle shove.

   Trying to control his smile, Castiel made his way down the hall toward the butterfly garden. He walked through the double set of doors into a large greenhouse-style structure. Greenery filled the area and butterflies of all varieties were flitting through the air. One landed on his shoulder and then quickly took off again. It was a beautiful place. _I imagine this is what Heaven would be for butterflies._

   Following the stone path, he passed a couple families with children who were listening to an entomologist speak about the different butterflies in the building. As he continued on, he could feel that connection to Dean growing stronger. At last, he came into view and Castiel was once again in awe of him.

   Dean was standing at the side of the path, smiling with a large monarch butterfly on his hand. A smaller variety flitted down to land atop his soft brown hair before once again flying away. He was smiling at the monarch and appeared to be speaking to it. It left his hand, flying on towards a batch of nearby flowers.

   Castiel watched as Dean’s smile fell and felt his heartbreak. He was trying to find the same connection, but the butterflies here were not interested in humans. Stepping forward slowly so as not to seem like he was doing more than wandering the path, he said, “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

   Dean looked up and for a moment, said nothing. He simply stared at the man with the messy dark hair and a trench coat, as a familiar feeling washed over him. Finally realizing he should react, he nodded. “Yeah. Beautiful.” Cocking his head, he said, “You seem familiar. Have we met?”

    _He can feel it. Maybe Gabriel was wrong._ Castiel was too scared to take the chance. He didn’t come all this way to get this close to Dean to only scare him away. “I don’t think we have.” He held out his hand like Gabriel had suggested. “I’m Castiel Novak.”

   Dean gave his hand a shake. “Dean Winchester. Your name doesn’t sound familiar, but I swear I know you. I feel it. I just… I can’t place it.”

   He was so adamant that Castiel’s resolve weakened. He and Dean had become so close. _Maybe he would be welcome to having me back, no matter the form._ Looking up at the butterflies, he asked, “Do you believe in angels, Dean?”

   The question was a perplexing thing to ask, but Dean answered anyway. “I don’t know. When I was little, my mom used to tell me that angels were watching over me while I slept. Why?”

   “They say that when a butterfly befriends you, it’s actually a visiting angel coming down from Heaven to see the Earth. After the body of the butterfly dies, the angel can decide whether it wants to remain in Heaven or come back to Earth to live as a human, returning to their friend.” Turning back to Dean, he found the man staring at him. It was the same look he had given Castiel as a butterfly, as if he was sure there was something more than what he was seeing.

   The tale felt too close to what he’d experienced with his butterfly and he wondered if it could be true. “I’ve never heard that,” he said at last. “Do you believe it?”

   Castiel nodded solemnly. “Yes. I do believe it. Strongly.”

   Taking a step closer, Dean gazed into Castiel’s eyes. “Your eyes are so blue. The same color as the ends of my butterfly’s wings.”

   “‘Your’ butterfly?”

   “Yeah. I found him and then he stayed with me. I didn’t make him stay. He just did.”

   “He gave himself to you,” Castiel replied softly.

    Dean stepped closer again, feeling inexplicably drawn to the man in front of him. “The angel or the butterfly?”

   Giving in to his desire to tell the truth, he said, “Definitely the angel...and I’m still yours if you want me.”

   Dean’s breath had quickened as he attempted to reconcile the logic from his brain telling him that it can’t be true and the feeling from his heart swearing that it was. “It’s not possible.” He said the words, but he’d often thought before that the butterfly that stayed with him was more than what it appeared to be. It had seemed an intelligent, sentient being and made Dean feel better, important. It had cared for him and he for it. They’d had a connection that defied species and he could feel it sparking back to life as he looked at the man in front of him.

   “You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to, but you saved me, Dean. You were so kind. I had to say thank you. You are an incredible human and I needed you to know that you are special to me, too.”

   His eyes widened at the implication of those words. “You really could hear me.”

   “Of course, I could hear you. Butterflies are not deaf.”

   Dean huffed a disbelieving laugh and stepped away. It was only for a moment and he came right back. “Tell me something else, something to make me believe it. Tell me something that someone else couldn’t possibly know.” He was feeling a little crazy and just needed extra reassurance that this was something he was really experiencing.

   Searching his memory, he landed on the demon. Anyone who was not an unearthly creature would not know what he truly was. “The man you brought back to the apartment? He was a demon. That’s why he tried to kill me. I couldn’t fight back in that form.”

   “Okay. I’m not sure…”

   “After he left, you laid on the bed and pleasured yourself. I helped.”

   Dean gaped at the man as his whole face turned red. He quickly looked around to make sure none of the other people in the garden had wandered their way. Still worried, he grabbed Castiel’s arm and pulled him further into the garden area, stopping on the other side of thick vegetation that blocked them from view. “No one should be able to know that,” he whispered.

   “Yes. That was part of your requested criteria. Do you believe now?”

   “Okay, okay. I don’t know if I believe that you’re an angel, but from the moment I saw you, I couldn’t shake the feeling...not only that I knew you, but that I was looking for you. I came here hoping to maybe feel whatever it was I felt with that butterfly. I feel that when I look at you. And you know something that only he and I would know. So, something here is definitely weird. I’ve never met a person who was...well, who was not always a person.”

   “Well, if it makes you feel better, I am no longer an angel. My wings were removed. It was painful, but necessary for me to return to Earth as a human.”

   Feeling like he knew the answer, Dean asked anyway. “Why would you do that?”

   Castiel tilted his head, unsure why Dean would ask such a thing. “So I could return to you. I don’t know what it is, but even before the butterfly died, I felt such a connection to you. It was painful to leave you behind, Dean, and I came back as quickly as I could. Time passes differently in Heaven. I immediately asked to come back and now I am here.”

   Dean stepped back and ran a hand over his face. “Okay. So, you were an angel who became a butterfly and now you’re a human?”

   “That is the gist, yes.”

   “Alright. So, what does that mean now? How am I supposed to interact with you? Are we just supposed to hop on a pair of horses and ride off into the sunset together?”

   Castiel frowned. “We’d never make it. The Earth turns faster than a horse can run.”

   Staring blankly, Dean asked, “Are you serious right now?”

   “Very. The Earth is moving at nearly one thousand miles per hour. The fastest horses can only obtain speeds of fifty-five miles per hour and that’s only for a short distance.” Realizing that it was an absurd thing to suggest, Castiel wondered if he misunderstood. “I’m sorry. Was that a metaphor?”

   With an amused look, he said, “Yeah, Cas. It’s a metaphor. It just means to live happily ever after. I just need to know. What am I supposed to do with you?”

   Castiel felt his heart began to beat faster. He began to fear that it didn’t matter that he told the truth. “Do you not want me?”

   “Want you how? I mean, you’re hot and, fuck, I’ve thought about fifteen different things I’d like to do with you since I first saw you, but is that what you’re wanting? Or are you wanting to just be some kind of pet still? I can’t exactly bring you home and put you in that tiny cage. What do you want from me?”

   Castiel felt himself beginning to shake. He didn’t know what the right answer was. “I… I…” Getting words out was suddenly hard and his heart was now racing. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake.” Confused and shaken, Cas turned to walk away, but Dean grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.

   “Why would it be a mistake?”

   “Because I don’t know what to tell you, Dean!” Realized he’d said that rather loud, he lowered his voice to a hushed tone. “I have spent millennia ignoring the human population based on incorrect teachings. This is my first day on Earth as a human myself and I barely know how to act at all. I just left everything I knew to be with you and I don’t know the answers to anything else. What am I supposed to want? Help me figure it out.”

   Sighing, Dean shrugged. “Um, okay. Let’s talk about the things we did before. We watched movies together. Is that something you want to do now?”

   Simple questions, that was what he needed. “Yes.”

   “You went with me to the gym. Do you still want to do that?” At Castiel’s nod, he continued. “You went on walks with me.”

   “Yes. I still want that. I like being with you.” Castiel hoped that made sense.

   “Yeah, I get that,” Dean replied. “You also slept in my bed. You’ve seen me get off and even...took part. Is that something you want to do with me now?”

   “I would very much like to stay in your bed. It was nice. However, my brother says he will give me a place to stay.”

   “You have a brother?” Dean interrupted.

   “Yes. I am not the first angel to leave Heaven. Gabriel is helping me get used to the world. I am sorry that I don’t know everything yet, but I am going to try to learn as quickly as possible.”

   Dean made a scoffing sound. “You don’t need to know everything, Castiel. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. Obviously, this is my first time in this situation, too.”

   He nodded in understanding. “As for your other question, I have to ask one of you. When you were pleasuring yourself, you sounded like you were in pain. That’s actually why I was on you. I was trying to get you to stop hurting yourself. Did it hurt?”

   Once again, Dean went up in flames over how bluntly Castiel spoke about his masturbation session. “Um, no. I mean, a little at first sometimes, but once you get into it, it’s just…” He had to stop to clear his throat as he searched for the right words. “It feels really good and it just keeps getting better, building and building until it’s an explosion of pleasure. Your whole body tenses and then relaxes and you’re left feeling blissed out, satisfied.”

   Castiel considered the new information. “Then, yes, I would like to help you again. I would also appreciate if you could show me what to do to feel what you did.”

   Dean shifted, the thoughts Castiel’s words brought forth had sent a pleasant tingling straight to his dick. “Yeah, I, um… That’s… We can… Yeah.” His voice was a little strained and he cleared his throat again. “Um, dating. I think what you want to do is dating. You want us to date, to be, uh, be boyfriends.”

   “Dating. Okay. Is that something you would be willing to do?”

   He didn’t hesitate at all. “Definitely.”

   They both turned as the sound of an approaching family reached their ears.

   “It’s only been a day, but I missed you,” Dean said quickly. “Any chance you’d want to come home with me and see what all we can learn?”

   Castiel’s smile was radiant. “Yes, Dean. I would like that very much.”  

* * *

   Gabriel watched as his brother and the man who must be Dean left the museum hand-in-hand and smiling. “Good for you, little brother,” he said with a grin. “Welcome to your new world.”


End file.
